Sunday, May 4, 2014

In Memory of a Wonderful Man





1Cor 2:9 - What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love HIM.
Last night Mark was breathing heavily and my youngest daughter phoned to say she was coming back to the house with her daughter Mark to spend the night. She made a bed on the floor in Mark's room and she told me I could turn off the monitor to sleep and Rich also. Mark always told her he wanted her face to be the last thing he saw.
I went into the room and sat by Mark and held his hand and said "I love these hands....He tried to open his mouth but his eyes were shut. I could tell he was trying to say something. I kissed his cheek and said "I love you too"
He went back to breathing heavily. Rich went to bed and I went upstairs and changed into my pj's. I went downstairs again and Shelbi and Mark were next to Mark's bed on the floor. I got up several times during the night to check on him and each time my daughter was awake. I finally turned off the monitor and around 6am she came to my room and said "Mom I don't think Dad is breathing." I flew out of bed, ran downstairs and sat at his side. He breathed two last gulps of ait. I held his hand and just looked at him and the peaceful look on his wonderful face. Shelbi went upstairs and woke Rich up and he ran downstairs and checked for a pulse...and then another body part and another...he said "go and get a mirror!" I said "Rich, you do not need a mirror, Mark has gone. The three of us sat there quietly.Mark passed away today at 6:20 am. I called my two kids and they came to see him before I called Hospice. Rich and I washed him and changed his clothes. I put a Gonzaga University t-shirt on him and warm, soft pajama bottoms. Everyone came and saw him and then once this was done I called Hospice and a nurse showed up. No one was crying and we all felt this so perfectly orchestrated by God. The night before my three children had made a circle with their children around Mark's bed and each person (adult and child) prayed for peace for Papa.
After the Hospice nurse entered in time of death and contacted the Dr. she called to have his body picked up.
My youngest daughter had a mentor that she had worked with for five years and each Sunday they had a Bible lesson and communion on their lunch breaks.
This man quit working there two years ago.
The van pulled up and the man was the van driver. He and Shelbi hugged and he walked in and said how peaceful Mark looked. They carried him out and Rich and I held each other teary but over joyed at how wonderful this experience had gone.
My kids called Mark's friends and others and I still need to call cousins.
Connie and her husband came by with a beautiful card and a clematis and two jasmin plants for the backyard. Then the neighbor next door brought orange juice and donuts and the neighbor on the other side brought sandwich rolls and cookies.
Mark's brother Brett came and left with Rich for the airport so Rich could get home to his wife.
Tomorrow we will plan the memorial and what we want to say about him in the paper. Neighbors all said the same thing..."Mark was such a NICE man and he loved his family so very much." I said to family I was thankful that this is what people thought of him and not that he was married to his work or something.
Psalm 116:15- Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.
Forty five years of marriage to this wonderful man was not enough.
I feel so blessed by this whole experience and if I could say one last thing it would be that I pray that each one of you will love your family, your mate and your friends while they are still with you.
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Rev 21:4
I will be finalizing this throughout the week.
Yesterday gifts came and we used them during the night and day. Thank you for the cross, the prayer shawl, the lavendar sachet, a large chicken pin cushion,the poodle cow(Granddaughter Mary slept with it) and the prayer banner from Molly. I have other things to tank you for I know.
I will be posting photos of cards, and other things and hope it might give you ideas if you have not comforted someone before.
Today was a beautiful day and though we will miss Mark, he could not have left in a more wonderful, love filled way. He wanted to be home and he was and it was a blessing to all involved.

31 comments:

  1. I've been privileged to sit quietly over these months, to read & learn from your journey. You were both blessed with time & love enough to get to transition through this chapter of your lives together, with dignity, hope and faith. What a gift & a blessing to leave this life with so much love. What a blessing to quietly witness those moments when the last breaths are carried away on Angels Wings.
    I may not have written you during this time, but you've been in my heart and mind.
    Bless Mark, Bless You & Bless Your Family. You are remarkable.

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  2. Thank you, Mary Lou, for sharing this post about Mark's passing. He was surrounded by love - what better gift could anyone wish for at the end? You and your family were a blessing to him and gave him the ultimate gift of love on his way to our Lord. You now have another angel in Heaven watching over you.

    I will continue to pray for you and your family during this most difficult of times.

    Psalm 116:15- Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints - yes indeed - the saints are rejoicing today.

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  3. you have had your prayers answered, your husband left this world in a quiet loved way…i am humbled by you and your spirit throughout this difficult time…my prayers are with you...

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  4. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. How blessed you all were to have had the time to say the things you wanted and be there for each other.

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  5. I am so sorry for your loss but happy that you could all be there with him and for him and that you have the strong faith to get you through the tough days ahead. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.

    Debbie

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  6. Having faith as strong as yours makes such a passing easier to bear, but learning to live without that beloved can still be a painful process at times. Blessings to you and to all who will feel the loss of this man in their lives.

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  7. My heart is breaking for you but what a lucky man he was to be so surrounded by such love, care and faith for his final journey. Blessings and prayers for you and your family.

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  8. Praying God will bless you and your family with peace and comfort at this time of loss.

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  9. Mary Lou and family, I so sorry to hear of Mark's passing but know he is now without pain and suffering. I will miss seeing him when I come to Spokane on your retreats, he was always the last person I saw and he would wish me a safe journey home. May his last journey be a safe one also. Be at peace Mark.

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  10. How beautifully expressed Mary Lou! You set an example for all of us if and when we experience a death of a mate or loved one! My prayers continue for you and your family as you go thru the necessary grieving'' With Love Marlynne

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  11. Dear Mary Lou.... I just heard today of your husband's illness and passing. My heart and prayers are with you, your family and loving friends. Words fail me.... may His love be with you all.

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  12. Blessings to you and your family. May Mark be at peace with our Lord. Prayers for
    you and yours during this time of loss.

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  13. Your witness is a shining light and your faith is beautiful. You have been in my prayers as I have read your posts and will continue to be as I continue to read your inspiring posts.

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  14. Bless your heart. You gave him the kind of love and care that very few people are fortunate enough to experience. You have so many people who have been inspired by you in many ways. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. Praying for you every day...

    Bev

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  15. I am sorry for your loss Mary Lou as well as for your whole family. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. Regards, Nessie

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  16. I'm so sorry. My prayers are with you and your family.

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  17. Our deepest sympathy to you and your family. You are in our prayers. ((((Hugs)))))
    Mickie

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  18. Memories, pieced of life bound together like a patchwork quilt, blanket us in warmth and love. Hoping that your dearest memories surround and comfort you through these difficult times.

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  19. Mary Lou, I extend to you and your family my deepest sympathy. I wish all of you peace and healing. You are in my thoughts.

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  20. Having family and friends that love him too is such a wonderful gift. Mark will always be with you - inevitably there will be many stories told whenever you all are together for years to come....

    'Take each moment as it comes and live each day fully...you just never know what will come up.' (Michael Panzera 1985-2005 glioblastoma)

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  21. What a wonderful way to go- surrounded by the people you love. My thoughts will be with you as the next phase of your life starts.

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  22. Dear heart,

    I write with tears streaming down my face at your tribute to Mark. There is never a good time to sat goodbye but Mark's homegoing was as wonderful as it could possibly be. He surely knew he was surrounded by love as he turned to greet his heavenly father.

    This was sent to me when my father died in 1983 and I have cherished these words ever since:
    "Those we love are with the Lord and the Lord has promised to be with us. If they are with Him and He is with us, they cannot be far away." - Peter Marshall

    Peace be with you.

    Hugs - Barbara

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  23. Mary Lou, you and Mark have been such great neighbors. Todd just asked me yesterday if I had heard how Mark was doing. I just now looked at your blog, he was such a gentle man, always had a smile on his face, God needed his smiling face to keep Him company.

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  24. You and Mark have been such great neighbors, Mark will be greatly missed. He always had a smile and a kind word. Todd just asked my yesterday (Sunday) if I heard how Mark was doing, as we drove by Franz bakery. God needed Mark and his smile to light up the room for Him.

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  25. what a glorious transition....your famillly is truly blessed....praying for strength for you and them in the days ahead....

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  26. This is the Mark I will always remember...this picture makes me happy....

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  27. I can't image your loss, but I will pray for peace in your heart.

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  28. Thanking the Lord with you for how he's blessed you during this time of loss. Praying many more blessings, and overwhelming peace and comfort for you, sweet Mary Lou!

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